As the Other Half Lives
by Rhionae
Summary: AU from ep 31: Athrun and Kira have not been picked up by Cagalli and Rev Malchio, but by the Archangel, and ZAFT.
1. Chapter 1

As the Other Half Lives

By Rhionae

Chapter 1

He was woken by a stabbing pain in his shoulder. Opening his eyes blearily, he was compelled to close them once more as the world swayed nauseatingly around him.

"...this bastard live if our kids didn't..."

"Should have left him out there to die..."

Kids dying? He forced his eyes open again, turning his head to the side where the voices were coming from - and froze, wide-eyed for an interminable heartbeat.

Earth Alliance uniforms. He was on an Earth Alliance vessel.

"Hey, he's awake!"

His senses instantly on full alert, he rolled off the stretcher he'd been lying on, kicking it back into the legs of the two men who had been carrying him. Curling into a crouch, he sprung forward, driving his good arm into the chest of a third man, winding him. Ripping the gun from the man's slackened fingers he spun about, eyes absorbing every detail of his surroundings in a split second. They were in a corridor, with an intersection just a short distance ahead. Behind him a fourth man in an orange jumpsuit stood staring at him in horror.

"H-hey now," the man said, raising his hands in a placating manner.

Athrun didn't waste time on him, darting instead in the other direction.

"Get help, damn it!" he heard one of the stretcher-bearers call out as they scrambled to follow him.

The first corridor he turned down was blessedly empty. The second, he wasn't so lucky. With the soldiers right on his heels he did the only thing he could do: he grabbed the girl, ignoring the pain in his arm to hold her firmly in front of him, the stolen gun pressed to her cheek. The Earth soldiers stumbled to a halt before them.

"The hanger," he rasped out, his throat dry. "Where is it?"

The soldiers cast debating glances at each other.

"_Where is it_?" he repeated, more forcefully.

"This way," one of them responded, and signalled Athrun to follow him. The ZAFT pilot didn't move.

"Back off," he instructed the remaining soldiers. After another round of frustrated looks, they lowered their weapons and backed off a couple of paces. Athrun nudged the girl, and they slowly moved forward together. The soldiers followed several paces behind them; he could feel them glaring daggers at his back every step of the way.

His left arm was starting to feel numb. His chest hurt, his stomach was rebelling, and his head felt like he'd been listening to Yzak complain non-stop for a week. The walk to the hanger was agonisingly long in his condition. He barely even noticed when they arrived, and stared at the soldier who had led him there blankly for several seconds until he realised why they'd stopped moving.

"A plane," he managed to get out, his voice sounding strangely off in his ears. He coughed, and tasted blood in his mouth. "I want - "

"You're out of luck, kid. The Archangel has absolutely nothing flight worthy aboard right now, and that's the unvarnished truth."

He turned to face the speaker, a solid, swarthy man dressed in one of the orange jumpsuits, with his arms folded across his chest. He looked tired and angry - and not about to give an inch of leeway to a wounded ZAFT soldier holding an Earth forces girl hostage.

Looking around the hanger, Athrun concluded that he was probably telling the truth. The only plane he could see was obviously damaged, and in the process of being worked on. Other than that, there was only...

"The Buster!" he exhaled in shock. It looked to have taken some damage, but was more or less in tact. What had happened to Dearka? "The pilot - what happened to him?"

"How about you tell us what happened to our pilots first, mmm?"

He stared at the newly arrived man who had spoken: a blond lieutenant with a stubborn set to his jaw. From behind him another lieutenant, a woman this time, looked on with anxious eyes.

"The Strike and the Skygrasper, the light plane," the lieutenant clarified, his tone harsh and demanding. "_What happened to the pilots?_"

The Strike... His breath caught in his throat. He'd been fighting the Strike in Aegis, and then...

He bowed his head, his forehead almost touching the girl's shoulder. "They're dead. I killed them."

The girl breathed in sharply, and twisted in his arms to face him. He didn't have the strength or the will left to stop her, his left arm falling limply by his side, the gun in his right all but forgotten. She clawed at the collar of his suit.

"That - that can't be!" she exclaimed vehemently. "Tolle can't be dead! He could have ejected form the Skygrasper! He could have - "

"The cockpit was crushed," Athrun stated emotionlessly, his mind replaying the events with ruthless clarity. "There's no way the pilot could have survived."

"No," the girl gasped, clearly shaken to the core. Distantly Athrun noted the dismay spreading through the crowd gathered around them - and the guns pointed his way now that he had relaxed his grip on his hostage. He couldn't quite bring himself to care.

"Why?" the girl was sobbing now, but had not let him go. "Why did you have to kill Tolle!"

"I wasn't tying to kill him. He was just in the way. I was only trying to kill..." he trailed off, his breath stolen by the memory of purple eyes wide with horror as Aegis locked onto the Strike.

"The Strike's pilot?" the blond lieutenant pressed. "Is there any chance he...?"

"No." His eyes burned. "I trapped the Strike with Aegis before I self-detonated. He couldn't have escaped that blast." The ripples of emotion through the crowd were stronger this time. "He's dead," Athrun stated softly, more to himself than to them. "Kira's dead."

"'Kira'?" The girl had heard him even if no one else had. She stared up at him with glistening eyes and tear-stained cheeks, and he couldn't escape that gaze. "You knew him, didn't you? It was you, you were his friend, the one he didn't want to fight against, weren't you? You were his friend, and you killed him! How could you!" Her voice had risen with every accusation, and he fell back before the strength of her verbal attack, his mind clutching at what little reason it could find for acting as he had.

"He was the enemy!" he shouted, still not wanting to really believe that. "He killed Nicol! Nicol was barely fifteen! He shouldn't have had to die!" He felt the tears sliding down his cheeks, and was helpless to stop them.

"Neither should Kira and Tolle!" she cried. "Does killing them make you happy? Does it!"

"No..." He closed his eyes, but the tears kept falling. "Kira..."

He was vaguely cognizant of someone taking the girl by the shoulders and drawing her away from him, but her words were lodged firmly in his mind. Killing Kira had left him anything but happy.

A familiar sound caused him to open them once more - and he abandoned his gun carelessly as Birdy swooped down, landing lightly on his outstretched hand.

"Kira..."

Birdy tilted its head to one side and chirped quizzically at him.

In his mind, he could see beyond Birdy to the thirteen year old Kira he had given it to, his eyes troubled and sorrowful at their parting. Birdy was given as a reminder, and a promise - a promise of everlasting friendship that he had failed utterly.

"Kira..."

His knees gave way beneath him, and he sank gracelessly to the floor. Birdy fluttered in mid-air for a moment before landing once again in front of him.

Kira...

He closed his eyes once more, and let the darkness swallow him whole.

* * *

He killed people in his dreams. Kira, Nicol, Lacus, Dearka, even Yzak and that Natural girl Cagalli, they all died one by one, over and over again. He wondered morbidly how many times he would have to kill them before they stayed dead, then immediately felt worse for having wished them so. It seemed like his hands should be permanently red from all the blood he'd spilt, and it seemed strange to find this wasn't the case when he woke.

He stared at his hands, clean and pale, dropping them only when Birdy swooped down onto his chest, hopping about in a carefree manner before finally settling on his pillow.

"He's stayed with you just about the whole time you've been sick."

Turning his head slightly he watched as the girl he'd held hostage carried a tray with a pitcher and glass into the room. Placing the tray on the table by his bed, she poured a single glass of water.

"Here," she said, first helping him to sit up, then drink the cool water, observing him dispassionately.

"Thank you," he said as he lay back down, and she returned the glass to the tray.

"You're welcome," she replied perfunctorily, and turned to go.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out before she'd taken two steps. She froze, her back still to him. "I know it doesn't really help, but... I am sorry for your loss."

She turned around, her face still expressionless. "You lost a friend as well."

He looked away. For several moments there was silence but for the soft sounds of Birdy fluttering about the room.

"The Buster's pilot," the girl spoke again at last. "He's on board too."

"Dearka?" Athrun looked up at her. "Is he all right?"

She snorted softly. "He's fine. Better off than you were. They're keeping him in the brig. They'll probably move you there as well, once you've recovered."

"How long was I...?"

"About a week. You had a fever that took a while to shake. The doctor doesn't really know much about Coordinators so aside from treating your obvious injuries he mainly just let you be."

Athrun nodded. That made sense, considering it was an Earth forces vessel. "Thank you," he said again as she turned once more. She moved away again, but only to collect a stool from a nearby desk. Planting it by his bedside she sat down and stared fixedly at him. He waited, until she at last bowed her head, and softly began to speak.

"We were all together on Heliopolis, Kira, Tolle, Sai, Kuzzey, and I, all students in Professor Kato's seminar. We were there in the Professor's lab that day, when the room began to shake..."

He listened to her story with growing understanding why Kira had taken action as he had done. Kira and his friends, they had all been innocent victims of circumstance, drawn further into confusion by the actions of his own people.

He couldn't really blame Kira for wanting to protect his friends. It was the reason he himself had joined ZAFT, after all, to protect the innocent from suffering as his mother and everyone else on Junius 7 had suffered. He didn't want to kill them, and yet, according to this girl whose name he didn't even know, he had killed people who fought for the same reason he himself did, who longed for the same peaceful future.

Who was right, and who was wrong, when they all wanted peace? Would the constant retaliation only end when they were all dead? What kind of future was that?

"Thank you," he said again when she rose to leave. He wasn't sure she would understand what he meant, but she nodded, pausing to look back at him from the doorway.

"My name is Miriallia," she said, in those quiet, half-dead tones.

"Athrun," he responded. She nodded again, and left him with a thousand conflicting thoughts and emotions - and one mechanical bird that fluttered around the room like the ghost of its dead owner through his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

As the Other Half Lives

by Rhionae

Chapter 2

Kira woke to white sheets and bandages and a body that ached from head to toe. His abused body refused to oblige when he tried to sit up, so he lay there quietly, and pieced together the events that had led him to this situation in his mind.

Athrun. He'd been fighting against the Aegis, and they'd both been seriously trying to kill each other for once. Athrun had been angry because Kira had killed his friend, and Kira had been upset because...

"Tolle..." He closed his eyes against the pinpricks of his tears, but they seeped through his pitiful defences to soak into his pillow.

Why had Tolle come out in the Skygrasper? He would have been safe on the Archangel! Athrun wouldn't have attacked him if he hadn't come between them on the battlefield! Just like the Blitz had come between them earlier...

It hadn't mattered in the end. Athrun had locked onto the Strike with Aegis and self-destructed the suit. He'd see Athrun jet clear of the immediate blast, so he was most likely still alive, at least, but how was it Kira had managed to survive? He almost wouldn't have believed that he was except that he felt too awful to be dead. In fact, it might have been preferable. He was so tired of fighting, especially against Athrun.

He lay there lost in memories and bitter reflections, until a slender ray of sunlight caught his attention as it crept across his chest. Turning his head towards the origin of the light, he saw several large buildings, with trucks and people bustling between them: a military base of some sort, judging by the types vehicles and equipment. Was this JOSH-A? Had the Archangel finally reached its goal? As he strained to see more detail, the massive doors of one of the buildings slid slowly open, and the Duel walked forwards into the sunlight.

Gasping, Kira launched himself upright, heedless of the searing pain as his body protested against the sudden movement. The Duel! He leaned towards the window precariously, hoping that he had been wrong, but he could never have mistaken that mobile suit for another. That was the Duel, and this was a ZAFT base.

He'd been worried about what the Earth Alliance commanders would want to do with a Coordinator who had piloted their only remaining prototype mobile suit, but now the situation had been reversed. What would the ZAFT forces want with a Coordinator who had fought against his own kind?

Athrun... Athrun had first wanted Kira to join them; then he'd tried to kill him. If ZAFT had wanted him dead then they could have just left him to die with the Strike. In fact, they could have killed him any time they wanted to. So why was he still alive?

Sinking slowly back onto the bed he stared fruitlessly at the ceiling, his mind running in endless circles.

At one point a nurse came in, and he greeted her half-heartedly. She stared at him in some surprise before hurrying out again without saying a word. He drifted in and out of memories, and was thus unsure of how much time passed before the door opened again, this time revealing a ZAFT officer with blond hair, a strange mask covering his face.

"Well, I see you are awake at last, Kira Yamato," the man said in smooth tones. "I must say, you have had our medical staff in quite an uproar with your recuperative abilities. It's remarkable that you survived such extensive injuries, even for a Coordinator, or so I'm told."

"I - " Kira started, only to stop in confusion. "You know my name?"

"Of course," the man smiled. "Athrun told me who you were as soon as he confirmed your identity at Heliopolis."

"Athrun?"

"Yes," the man nodded gently. "Such a shame that you and he stood on opposite sides of this struggle. You would have been a formidable pair, fighting side by side for our cause. As it is, Athrun will be sorely missed."

"What!" Kira stared up at the man in shock. "Athrun! But - " he broke off, the tears he thought had dried up welling in his eyes once more. Had Athrun not escaped that blast? "Athrun..." His fists clenched at his sheets as he screwed his eyes shut against the fresh onslaught of tears. When he opened them again, the man was still smiling faintly.

"It was a great sacrifice that he made, but he achieved his purpose, and our people will honour him for it."

"His - purpose?" Kira couldn't help but ask, even though he knew the answer.

"To defend his people from the misguided efforts of a Coordinator who fell sway to the lies and deceptions of the Naturals."

Kira stared up at him. "I - I just wanted to protect my friends!" he gasped out his defense.

"I'm sure you did," the man nodded again, "but your friends are only a small part of the equation. Why is it that the Earth Alliance would permit a Coordinator to use their precious Strike to defend them? Because only a Coordinator could pilot it, correct?"

"Yes, but - "

"And by admitting to the fact that only a Coordinator could pilot those mobile suits, they have entangled themselves in a dilemma: they are forced to rely on the aid of one of the very people they are trying to eradicate. Rather an embarrassing situation for them, don't you think?"

Kira couldn't disagree, gazing helplessly up at the man as he continued to speak in those soft, but firm tones. Images of Flay condemning all Coordinators out of hand flashed through his mind.

"If you had arrived at the Alaska base with the legged ship, I sincerely doubt you would ever have left the base alive. Once they had the Strike and its combat data safely in their hands, you and the friends you fought for would have been superfluous. In fact, I wonder what will become of your friends now?"

Sai, Miriallia, Kuzzey, Flay... They had only ended up on the Archangel because of Kira. They had only enlisted because of the situation he had dragged them into. Would the Earth Alliance command let them return to their families in Orb? Or would they be forced to remain on the Archangel, in constant danger? Could they end up dead, like Tolle?

He struggled to breathe as the thought of more of his friends dying needlessly choked him with guilt. His fists and eyes were clenched painfully tight with the effort to physically hold back a new surge of tears.

"There is nothing you can do about that right now, however," the man's smooth voice continued relentlessly. "The Strike is gone, and you are still injured, after all."

Kira opened bleary eyes as he felt a hand rest lightly on his shoulder. The masked man smiled gently down at him.

"Rest for now, Kira Yamato. You are of no use to anyone, weak and wounded as you are."

The hand on his shoulder squeezed momentarily, and he flinched at the pain the action caused. When he opened his eyes again, the man was gone.

* * *

More than a week passed by until the masked man came to see Kira again. In that time, he had only seen silent nurses who would not answer his questions and intrusive doctors who seemed to regard him as an object of to be studied rather than as a patient. He was kept confined to the hospital room, even though his body was mending well. Guards were stationed outside his door night and day, the window would not open - and from that window he could see the mass movements of the ZAFT forces to and from the base. There had been an awfully large number of mobile suits move out a several days previously, and Kira had been watching closely from the window as a much smaller number returned to the base when the door opened to reveal the masked officer once again.

"Who are you?" Kira demanded as soon as the man entered the room. "What do you want with me?"

"I see you've recovered quite well from your ordeal," the man smiled. "To answer your questions: I am Commander Rau Le Creuset."

Kira's eyes widened as he recognised the name, and he took an involuntary step backwards placing him up against the wall beside the window.

"As for what I want from you, well," Le Creuset rounded the bed and crossed the distance between them, tilting his head to one side as he looked down at Kira. "I would like you to understand why it is that ZAFT fights against the Earth Alliance."

"Because of the Bloody Valentine," Kira answered the unspoken question, turning away slightly.

"That was certainly a major trigger in this conflict," the blond nodded. "Essentially, however, we fight because it is simply a matter of survival. Most Naturals are afraid of Coordinators, and consequently strike out against the cause of that fear in an attempt to remove it from existence. Those who do not fear Coordinators instead covet their abilities, falling prey to the bitterness arising from envy. Either way, can you blame Coordinators for wanting to protect themselves from such mindless hatred?"

"That's - not all Naturals are like that!" Kira protested, thinking of Tolle defending him when he was revealed as a Coordinator to the crew of the Archangel. Yet memories of Sai's jealousy and Flay's fear also crossed his mind, unbidden.

"Perhaps not," Le Creuset conceded, "however, you might want to take a closer look at those who currently command the Earth Alliance."

"What do you mean?"

The blond stepped up to the window, standing beside Kira, looking down at the base below.

"A few days ago ZAFT began Operation Spit Break, a major assault on the Earth Alliance Joint Supreme Headquarters in Alaska."

Kira inhaled sharply. "The Archangel - " he blurted out anxiously. "My friends - "

"Is that the ship's name?" Le Creuset glanced towards him with a small smile. "How appropriate. Yes, they were there, acting as part of JOSH-A's defensive forces. A truly formidable foe."

"Were they - " he couldn't bring himself to finish the question.

"That ship did not fall to ZAFT forces," the commander replied obliquely. "Although we succeeded in overrunning the base itself, the Archangel was not one of our conquests."

"Then they're all right." He breathed a sigh of relief that was all too short-lived.

"Do you know what a Cyclops System is?"

He blinked. "Cyclops...?"

"It's essentially a large-scale destructive device." Le Creuset turned to face him, and this time his smile was noticeably lacking. "The Earth Alliance had constructed such a system beneath JOSH-A. We had no idea. They waited until the vast majority of our forces had penetrated the base before setting off the system."

Kira stared at him, his mouth open, but his voice had abandoned him. He knew the answer without having to ask.

"Everything within a ten kilometre radius of the base was destroyed, including their own defense forces."

"That - that can't be..." He clutched at his chest, his heart aching as images of his friends filled his mind. Sai, Miriallia, Kuzzey... "Flay..." He fell to his knees, bowing his head in grief.

After a few moments Le Creuset crouched down beside him laying one hand on Kira's shoulder once again. "I am sorry," he said in his gentle voice, "but perhaps now you can understand the true nature of those who head the Earth Alliance, and why it is ZAFT will do anything it can to stop them." His grip tightened for a brief moment, and Kira looked up into that impassive mask with tear-blurred eyes.

"Athrun truly wanted you to understand."

Kira choked at the mention of Athrun's name, and lost himself once again to his tears. He paid no heed when the commander departed, leaving him once again by himself in the locked room. He had failed to protect his friends, and the consequences of that had left him more alone than he had ever felt in his life.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, apologising desperately to them all - but it was too little, too late.


	3. Chapter 3

As the Other Half Lives

By Rhionae

Chapter 3

Athrun was about ready to throttle Dearka. He'd been imprisoned in the cell next to his teammate's for almost a week now, and if the blond opened his mouth to make one more crass joke about their situation he would not be held accountable for his actions.

"You know - "

"Shut up, Dearka."

"Right."

He could practically hear the blond rolling his eyes.

It had been an immeasurable relief to see a familiar face on the unfamiliar ship, even under such circumstances. It was certainly better than having to mourn yet another comrade. Nicol's death, and Kira's, still cut him to the core, but he was slowly working out just how he felt about everything that had happened - and learning to live with the consequences.

"Could be worse, you know."

Athrun sighed. "How?"

"You could be stuck here with Yzak."

He had to snort at that, his lip twisting upwards despite himself.

"Hah! Got you that time!"

Dearka had been ecstatic at first, when he'd told him that he'd destroyed the Strike. Then came incredulousness as Athrun had laughed hysterically at the offered congratulations and admitted he'd killed his best friend.

"So, what's yellow and orange and growls like a tiger? The food on this ship as it leaves your body!"

He'd then been very quiet for some time, until Miriallia had arrived with their dinner trays. Dearka had been unaccountably awkward in attempting to talk with her. Athrun had simply thanked her by name, which had set Dearka to complaining, as she'd apparently never told him.

_"That's because even though he killed Tolle, at least he's not a jerk about it!"_ Miriallia had yelled at him with tears in her eyes, and Dearka had fallen silent for the rest of the evening.

The next morning, Athrun had found himself having his first ever serious discussion with the blond.

_"I kind of forgot that the people we were fighting were, you know, people," Dearka had confessed. "It's just so easy to think of them as The Enemy, and not as brothers or boyfriends or sons or whatever. When I first saw that girl, Miriallia, I made some comment about how I should be the one crying, not her." He snorted disparagingly. "I had no idea that her boyfriend had died, I mean, how could I? But... she kind of snapped. That look in her eyes - for a second I could have sworn she was going to kill me with her bare hands. She didn't, but another girl tried to shoot me instead. Miriallia knocked the gun out of her hands just as she fired. Not that I'm ungrateful or anything, but I don't understand why she defended me like that, when she was obviously hurting."_

_"It wouldn't have made her happy," Athrun had replied, remembering her words to him in the hanger all too well. "It wouldn't have changed Tolle's death at all, merely added to the number of people suffering the loss of a loved one."_

Truth be told, Athrun was amazed that Miriallia could bear to look at him, let alone take care of him when he was in the infirmary and now bring their meals to them. It was testament to the type of character of the people Kira had chosen as his friends, that she could still show compassion to the enemy who had killed her boyfriend and friend. It was one more reason why Kira had chosen to protect them over coming to the PLANTs with Athrun.

He'd told Dearka about how he had tried to convince Kira to come with him rather than fight against him, to no avail. In the end, it was only his anger at Nicol's death that had given him the resolve he required to kill Kira - but he couldn't feel at all pleased that he had avenged one friend's death with another's.

_"Nicol would have understood,"_ was all Dearka had said in response. Those few words made Athrun feel even worse than before, because he knew Dearka was right.

Would it have changed anything, if Nicol had known that he and Kira had been childhood friends? Possibly, but there was no way he could ever know for certain now. All he could do was sit in his cell and reminisce, with one oftentimes ribald teammate and a mechanical bird for company.

The bad jokes had started shortly after that. Athrun supposed it was Dearka's way of trying to keep their spirits up, and had to admit the blond had succeeded at least in a small way. Their situation was still rather desperate. The crew of the Archangel had, on the whole, treated them with considerable forbearance, possibly due to having had a Coordinator working alongside them for several months. He held no hope for such considerate treatment at the hands of JOSH-A's forces. It was surely only a matter of time before they were transferred to the base as a matter of procedure. Yet every day that passed with the ship docked and their status unchanged made him that much more anxious regarding their fate.

"So, how many Earth Alliance officers does it take to screw a light bulb?"

Athrun suppressed a groan - but was saved from having to hear the answer by the low thrum of the ship's engines firing up.

"We're moving?"

"Sounds like it - but where?"

"Who knows? None of what the Earth forces do makes much sense."

It was strange that they hadn't been offloaded at JOSH-A. It would have been as good a place as any to hold two prisoners of war who happened to be the sons of members of the PLANTs Supreme Council.

"The only other place they might take us is Panama," Athrun spoke slowly. From the other's hissed intake of breath he knew he understood: there had been whispered rumours floating around ZAFT about a major assault planned against Panama. If they were taken there, they had increased chances of both being rescued - and killed.

It wasn't long before they discovered that they wouldn't have to wait for the assault at Panama. The unmistakeable sounds of battle informed them that ZAFT had arrived en masse at Alaska.

"They're going into combat with prisoners still on board? What's wrong with these people!" Dearka protested as the ship shuddered from a hit.

Athrun swung the door to his cell open, moving swiftly to the lock on Dearka's cell door and setting to work, ignoring his teammate's gaping expression. Birdy followed him, landing on his shoulder a little unsteadily due to missing a toe from each foot.

"How long ago did you pick that lock?" Dearka demanded as Athrun set about prying open the cover and shorting out the mechanism.

"A few days ago," he replied absently.

"Oh, for the love of..." Dearka covered his face in his hands for a moment before looking up at the ceiling imploringly. "If there are any gods out there listening to this, the next time I'm captured with a teammate can it please be someone with some common sense!"

"Oh, so it's common sense to want to be alone and unarmed in the middle of enemy headquarters?"

"Okay," the blond admitted, grimacing, "you have a point there. But if we escape now we're not going to be that much better off."

"With the battle distracting them this is likely the best chance we're going to get."

"I know." He reached through the bars to touch the other's shoulder. Athrun looked up into sober purple eyes. "Don't get killed, okay?"

Athrun nodded sombrely. "Same goes for you."

The door swung open, and they left the brig together, making their way towards the ships hanger. Athrun's memories of the path he'd been led down the first time were rather sketchy, but Dearka had sufficient recall of his movements around the ship that they were able to keep on the right track. With the ship at battle stations there were few crew members to stray across their path, and the first couple who did were easily rendered unconscious by the ZAFT pair. The third was somewhat more problematic.

"What the - "

By the time Athrun and Dearka looked up from their second victim it was already too late: the blond lieutenant from the hanger, La Flaga, had his gun pointed at them. The distance between them made it touch and go as to whether they could take him out before he took one of them out.

"We really _don't_ have time for this," La Flaga growled, his expression a mixture of anger and frustration. "Both of you, move it! Now!"

The Coordinators exchanged a contemplative glance that quickly turned startled as a bullet cut the air between them.

"I'm serious! I don't want to die here any more than you do!"

Athrun frowned, tapping Dearka's arm. The older boy scowled, but nodded as they let the Earth Alliance officer herd them to his destination. It was with no small amount of surprise that they ended up on the Archangel's bridge.

"Commander! What do you think you're doing!" The woman in the captain's chair was anxious and harried. "The prisoners - "

"Never mind them!" La Flaga dashed over to the woman, gripping the back of her chair tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. "We have to get out of here, _now_! Just what kind of orders did they give the defense forces!"

"What - ?"

"Listen to me: there's a large Cyclops System installed under headquarters. It's powerful enough to incinerate everything within a ten kilometre radius. It's impossible to defend the base with the forces that are left, and there's no way reinforcements from Panama could make it in time. As soon as the defenders are gone and that main gate comes down, the headquarters will make the decision to activate the Cyclops System, taking more than half of ZAFT's forces with it. That's the scenario we're facing, as imagined by the top brass!"

Everyone on the bridge was staring at him in horror.

"That - that can't be - "

"I swear, I saw it with my own eyes. The command centre is empty. The only people left are the Eurasian forces and the Archangel, because those damn bigwigs have given up on her!"

"So they left us here to die? Is that it?" one of the crew demanded in disbelief. The others all had similarly dismayed expressions.

Athrun understood the simple maths. This would wipe out a very large proportion of ZAFT's fighting strength, the thought of which left him sick to his stomach. Yet, to sacrifice so many of their own...

"What the hell kind of commanders do you people have!" Dearka burst out from beside him.

"Don't think your side is any better," La Flaga snapped at him. "Rau Le Creuset was there, too. He knows about the Cyclops System, and he got out of there well before I did. So why aren't ZAFT pulling back? Why hasn't he said anything to save his own people?"

"That doesn't make any sense," Athrun muttered, taken aback as much as Dearka.

"If the objective of this battle was to lure the ZAFT forces into the base, then I believe that we have accomplished that mission," the captain spoke in a strained, but determined voice. "Let it be known that I, Murrue Ramius, Captain of the Archangel, made this decision alone."

"Don't pressure yourself," the commander cautioned, but Captain Ramius didn't pay any attention.

"Signal the other ships! We're going to begin a withdrawal!"

"This won't be easy. ZAFT aren't going to just let us go..."

Athrun turned to Dearka as the Archangel's crew set about following their new orders. The blond Coordinator's jaw was set in a grimace.

"It just can't be true. If Commander Le Creuset knows then he would definitely order a retreat!"

Athrun wanted to be able to agree with him, but just couldn't bring himself to disbelieve the Earth Alliance officer. Perhaps if Commander Le Creuset had been detained or delayed in some way... In which case, he and Dearka were the only other ZAFT members who knew about this devastating trap that the Earth Alliance command had set. His eyes strayed across to the communications console in front of the crewmember closest to them.

"Captain! It's the Duel! Behind us!"

There were several gasps of dismay. Athrun locked gazes with Dearka.

"Damn it, why now? I'm going to launch!" La Flaga hadn't taken more than two steps towards the door before Dearka had pulled the young crewman out of his chair and Athrun had contacted the Duel. "Hey!"

Athrun ignored him, moving down beside the Captain as Yzak appeared on the main screen.

"What the - Athrun, you bastard!"

"Yzak, listen to me!"

"Why the hell should I - "

"There's a Cyclops System under the Alaska base, set to destroy everything within a ten kilometre range. Tell everyone to retreat, immediately!"

Yzak's blinked in surprise, before scowling at him. "I'm not falling for any lies you've swallowed!"

"It's the truth, Yzak," Dearka moved forward to stand next to Athrun.

"Dearka?" Yzak's eyes widened. "You're serious?"

"_Yes!_ We don't want to die here either, you know!"

"Yzak, for once in your life, just obey the damn order!" Athrun cried out in frustration. "I'm asking you to save our people's lives!"

Blue eyes darted between them for a prolonged moment, before narrowing. "Yes, sir!" he saluted, and the screen cut out.

"You know," Dearka grinned weakly across at the younger ZAFT pilot, "I think that might be the first time Yzak's ever saluted you properly."

Athrun smiled wryly. "Probably," he agreed. Looking around, he discovered that Commander La Flaga had once again pointed his gun at them, but Captain Ramius stood between them, her raised hand holding him back.

Dearka moved back to the communications console, adjusting the channels until Yzak's voice could be heard.

_"...Yzak Joule in Duel, all ZAFT forces are to return to the transport vessels at once! I repeat, this is Yzak Joule..."_

"Captain, some of the ZAFT mobile suits are withdrawing," a crewmember announced. Athrun was surprised to recognise Miriallia's voice. So was his teammate, judging by the expression on his face.

"Good. Tell our ships to withdraw as soon as they can, and get as far away from the base as possible."

The situation was improving. All they needed now was time enough to convince everyone -

The forward view was suddenly filled by the bulk of a GINN as it pointed its gun directly at the Archangel's bridge. There was a collective gasp as everyone instinctively flinched from the intended attack - but the blast never hit them, the gun and GINN knocked away by none other than the Duel.

_"I said get back to the ship, damn it, or I'll take you out myself!"_

"Thank you, Yzak!" Dearka exclaimed fervently. Athrun breathed a sigh of relief. That had been too close.

"Get us out of here!" Captain Ramius ordered. "Maximum speed!"

Mere minutes later, a crewman reported an energy surge from within the base. The Cyclops System had been activated. All they could do now was hope, and pray.


	4. Chapter 4

As the Other Half Lives

By Rhionae

Chapter 4

The devastation was immense. Where JOSH-A had once stood, a near perfect crater now dominated the landscape, within which nothing moved.

On the bridge of the Archangel, no one had spoken since the explosion. Most of the people present either stared mesmerised by the destruction, or held their faces downcast in mingled relief and despair. Athrun could only gaze helplessly at the blast zone, trying not to calculate how many soldiers ZAFT must have lost. Behind him he heard Dearka punching the wall.

"Captain?" The crewman flinched as everyone turned to stare at him. "Uh, the Duel is hailing us."

Captain Ramius blinked, then nodded, and the monitor flared to life.

"Thank you for your assistance," the captain spoke as soon as the connection was made. "I know you didn't do it for us, but... Thank you, anyway."

Yzak glared at her for a moment through narrow blue eyes, then nodded acknowledgement ever so slightly. "I'd like to speak with Dearka and Athrun," he declared in tones just short of a command.

"They're present," Captain Ramius responded evenly. "Say what you will."

His eyes narrowed even further at that, but Yzak didn't argue. That the Earth Alliance Captain would permit such contact was sufficient concession. Athrun stepped forward once again, Dearka moving to join him. "You're both all right." It wasn't exactly a question.

"Yeah, we're fine."

"Thanks, Yzak, for everything," Athrun added sincerely.

The silver haired pilot snorted at that. "Your status?"

"Oh, I'd say we're still prisoners of war until further notice," Dearka replied, eyeing the gun that La Flaga was pointedly aiming at them. "But don't worry about us. I mean, the food's pretty crap, but the service has been excellent, all things considered." His glance drifted to where Miriallia was seated.

"Dearka," Athrun warned.

The blond grinned unrepentantly.

Yzak rolled his eyes. "Idiot. And the Strike?"

"Destroyed." Athrun turned his head, not wanting to look at the satisfied smile that lit Yzak's face. Around him he could hear several angry murmurs coming from the Archangel's crew.

"Lay off, Yzak," Dearka ordered before the Duel's pilot could say another word. "Think about where we are, would you? Also - the Strike's pilot was a close friend of his."

"A _friend_! What kind of friend - "

"Yzak!"

Amazingly, he complied, shutting his mouth on the harsh words with obvious effort. When he spoke again, it was in far more controlled tones.

"So that was why you never fought seriously against the Strike."

Athrun didn't answer, keeping his eyes directed at Birdy, who had once again settled on his shoulder and was listening to the conversation as attentively as the crew of the Archangel.

"That bird..." Those blue eyes were still relentlessly accusing, the vivid scar across his face only accentuating the expression. "It's the one from Morgenroete, in Orb."

"Yes," Athrun acknowledged, ignoring the whispers of the crew behind him. "I made it for Kira, when we were younger."

"Then, that was him," Dearka realised. "The guy at the fence."

"Yeah." A hand resting on his shoulder caused Athrun to look up, but Dearka's sober gaze offered sympathy he didn't feel he deserved. The younger pilot shook his head, and refocussed his attention to yet another matter that seriously disturbed him. "Yzak, did Commander Le Creuset sortie during the attack?"

"Yes," came the answer, Yzak's expression suspicious as his eyes flickered to the Archangel's captain sitting silently beside them, "but he'd returned from the base shortly before you contacted me. He wasn't planning on going out again. He wouldn't have been caught in that blast."

Athrun and Dearka looked at each other.

"Are you sure?" Dearka asked, not wanting to believe the picture that was forming. "That he'd been in the base, I mean?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Yzak scowled. "What's this about?"

"And he didn't say anything about the Cyclops System?" Athrun pressed.

"Why would he - " Yzak broke off and stared at them, wide-eyed. "That's crazy! You're saying he knew and didn't - I can't believe that!"

"Doesn't make it any less true," La Flaga interjected from behind them. He escaped Yzak's furious glare only by virtue of being out of his line of sight.

"You'd believe the enemy rather than our own commander?" he directed his indignation against his two teammates instead. "Traitors!"

"Commander La Flaga _did_ save all our lives just now," Athrun pointed out sharply, "by telling us about the Cyclops System. It's not like we _want_ it to be true. It doesn't make any sense at all, and yet... "

"Actually, it does if you look at it from this perspective," La Flaga spoke in slow realisation, moving closer to stand by the captain's side. "What do you think the reaction is going to be like in the PLANTs when they hear about this disaster?"

"They'll want to retaliate in kind," the captain answered him softly. On the screen, Yzak scowled once again. Athrun closed his eyes and bowed his head. He could picture his father's reaction only too well.

"So Commander Le Creuset is single-handedly responsible for escalating this war, is that what you're trying to say?" Yzak sneered at the blond Natural.

Athrun's stomach was slowly twisting itself into knots as his mind, prompted by Yzak's words, churned over the sickening possibility. The Earth Alliance command had been willing to make a considerable sacrifice to ensnare ZAFT's forces in their trap. Could Commander Le Creuset truly have been willing to make an even greater sacrifice to justify increasingly drastic military action?

He stared blindly up at the image of Yzak on the screen. "Why was target changed to JOSH-A at such a late stage?" he asked aloud, drawing the focus of attention.

"What do you mean?"

"It would have taken some time to set up a Cyclops System of that magnitude," he said, turning to look Commander La Flaga in the eye. "How long has it been there?"

"Huh," the man grunted. "Good question." He gazed at him in consideration for a moment before answering. "It's not exactly standard practise, and I doubt they could have kept something like that quiet for too long."

Athrun clenched his fists, while Yzak hissed out a curse. "And Panama?"

The Earth officer only quirked an eyebrow at him, his expression that of a teacher waiting for a student to produce their own answer.

The three ZAFT pilots looked at one another. None of them particularly wanted to examine aloud the possible weaknesses of ZAFT in front of an Earth Alliance crew, but it was becoming increasingly suspect that someone in ZAFT was either leaking critical information to the Earth Alliance, or were susceptible to misinformation from the same. Someone high-ranking, influential, and well-trusted. Le Creuset fit the description well, and given the current situation was the obvious object of those suspicions; but he wasn't alone.

There was really only one group of people who held such responsibility regarding ZAFT, and who had the authority to determine the target of such an intensive assault. Le Creuset could possibly sway them one way or another, but the decision to act would have been theirs and theirs alone.

"The Committee..."

It was all he had to say. Dearka's head shot up, his jaw clenched. Yzak's eyes widened momentarily before returning to their usual burning cold glare. They both knew which committee he meant: the Defense Committee, headed by his father. Yzak's mother and Nicol's father were also members, and thus subject to suspicion.

"There's no way my mother would be involved in anything like that!" Yzak snapped, immediately moving for offence as the best defence.

Athrun had to struggle not to wince. He was actually fairly certain that Yzak was correct, as he'd seen mother and son interact - and Ezaria Joule was as devoted to her son as he was to her. She would not willingly send him to almost certain death. Nor would he have believed Nicol's father to be susceptible either - unless the death of his son had embittered him as much as Athrun's mother's death had altered his father. In truth, Athrun's deepest doubts were regarding his own father.

"Well then, that leaves us with the Commander, Chairman Zala and the hand of fate," Dearka responded caustically. Yzak was not amused.

"What the hell has happened to you two?" he demanded irately. "Has being captured by the enemy killed off what little intelligence you had to begin with? I refuse to believe that our commanders would be as callously calculating as the Earth Alliance! That the two of you could even consider such a possibility goes against every pledge we swore the day we joined ZAFT!"

"That's not - "

"You swore those oaths the same day I did, Athrun, for the same reasons! Have you forgotten already? Is it Nicol's death that's left you so pathetic? Or your so-called friend's?" he practically spat out the term. "This is a war, soldiers die - get over it! Pointing fingers when your information comes from someone who shouldn't be trusted is the behaviour of a child! Of course, that's really just what you are, isn't it? A whimpering child who shouldn't be out on the battlefield!" Yzak sneered vituperatively.

Athrun could only grit his teeth and bear the accusations in grim silence. He'd struck a nerve by bringing up Yzak's mother, even obliquely. There was no way the other would listen to him now.

"I'm not listening to any more of this crap!" the Duel's pilot declared at last. "Until you come to your senses I have nothing more to say to either of you! So you can just rot on that blasted ship for the rest of your lives, for all I care!"

"Wait, Yzak!" Dearka protested as the other reached to cut off the transmission.

"Yzak!" Athrun cried out at the same time.

Blue eyes blazed at them. "_What!_"

"Just - " Athrun grimaced. Beside him, Dearka was similarly at a loss for words. There was little that either of them could say that would make a difference now. "_Be careful_."

The screen went dead.

"Excitable fellow, isn't he?" La Flaga commented. Athrun sighed, watching dispiritedly as the Duel took off from nearby, flashing away on its Guul.

"As fascinating as that little discussion was," the commander continued, "we have more immediate problems of our own. Like just what do we do now? Where do we go?"

"Shouldn't we head for Panama? Join up with the forces there?"

"Oh yeah, like they'd be happy to see us."

Athrun listened quietly as the Archangel's crew debated their options. He hadn't missed the fact that the commander had lowered his gun. From the nudge Dearka gave him, the other ZAFT soldier hadn't missed it either. It would be so easy to disarm him, take a hostage, and head for the hanger. From what La Flaga had said earlier about launching, there had to be at least one plane down there in working condition, and yet...

He flicked his gaze up to meet Dearka's, and shook his head ever so slightly. The older boy's expression turned fleetingly incredulous, then settled into resignation.

Next to them, the discussion regarding the Archangel's future was going nowhere fast. Repressing a sigh at the uncertainty surrounding all their fates, Athrun began to move slowly toward the door.

"Hold it!" Captain Ramius ordered, and Athrun complied, turning to face her. "Just where do you think you're going?"

"Back to my cell," he answered simply. Both the captain and commander blinked bemusedly at him.

Dearka groaned. "You're actually serious, aren't you?"

Athrun shrugged, the motion earning him a protesting cry from Birdy as it flapped its wings for balance. "I need to think."

"You think too much," came the grumbled retort, but the blond nevertheless moved to stand next to him. "So do we get an escort or what?" he queried the Earth officers. The pair exchanged a long glance.

"I'll go," Miriallia announced, surprising both the ZAFT soldiers and the rest of the Archangel's crew.

"But, Mir - "

"I'll be fine, Sai."

"Thank you, Crewman Haw," said Captain Ramius. La Flaga offered her his gun as she walked past him, but she turned it down.

"That won't be necessary, Commander," she informed him. "Will it?"

"Huh?" Dearka blinked, becoming rather flustered when her flat gaze was directed at him. "No! Of course not!"

Her gaze turned to Athrun, and he met it steadily for a moment before bowing formally. La Flaga raised his eyebrows at that, but Miriallia simply nodded.

"We should probably check on those guys we knocked out first," he commented after rising.

"Lead the way," she ordered. They both moved promptly to obey. "And if they're still unconscious, you're carrying them to sick bay."

"I knew you were going to say that," Dearka sighed as they left the bridge.

In the end they only had to carry one of them to the infirmary, whereupon they discovered the other had already made it there by his own efforts. After narrowly avoiding a brawl, they retreated to the relative quiet of the brig without encountering any further incidents.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Dearka muttered as he walked into the cell opposite his old one at Miriallia's direction. Athrun was already sitting cross-legged on the floor of the cell next door, Birdy hopping around in front of him.

"Try to stay out of trouble this time," Miriallia told them before leaving them alone again.

The blonde pilot sighed loudly. "So, care to practice your lock-picking skills again?"

"Not really."

"_Athrun_."

"Where would we go?"

"Let's see, now... How about any the ZAFT subs that are scattered all around this area?" came the sardonic response.

Athrun didn't reply. They sat in silence for several minutes before Dearka voiced his damning conclusion.

"Yzak was right. You really are turning your back on the PLANTs."

"ZAFT is not the PLANTs!" the younger boy replied astringently. "ZAFT is supposed to _protect_ the PLANTs - that's why I joined in the first place - but does protecting the PLANTs necessarily mean wiping out everyone who doesn't follow the same ideals?"

"Would you rather sit back and wait for them to wipe us out?" came the equally biting response. "No matter who started it, this war is escalating, _fast_. I don't intend to just wait around until I'm killed - I intend to do something more than simply sitting here in this stupid cell!"

"Could you shoot Miriallia?"

"What! What are you saying?"

"She's a Natural, an Earth Alliance soldier, an enemy of ZAFT. _Could you shoot her?_"

"I - that's just - "

"I couldn't. Not now. Not ever again."

That was the crux of the matter. He'd never really wanted to kill Kira, and now that he had he could only feel remorse for his actions.

"Miriallia is a nice girl. She doesn't want us harmed, even though there are plenty of reasons why she ought to. She still cares, even though we've caused her suffering. I can see why Kira was friends with her. If they'd met in another time and place, he probably would have been friends with Nicol, too!" He broke off for a moment as he struggled to regain the control over himself that the thought of his dead friends had shaken.

"It's not just the PLANTs I want to protect, Dearka," he continued after a couple of deep breaths. "It's people like her, like Kira, and Nicol. I can't just follow orders blindly anymore, not now that I've seen that the enemy are simply people who are not so very different from us, after all."

The silence lengthened once again, seeming almost interminable until the blond asked one penetrating question.

"So just what _do_ you intend to do, Athrun?"

Athrun just shook his head, a response the other could not see, but would undoubtedly sense. He didn't have that answer yet, but Dearka was right about one thing: he could achieve nothing while remaining locked in this cell. The lock on the door, however, was no barrier at all compared to the cloud of uncertainty that shrouded his heart and mind.


	5. Chapter 5

As the Other Half Lives - 5

* * *

Yzak Joule was not in the best of moods when he returned to the Cousteau. Upon being informed that Commander Le Creuset wanted to see him, he almost flew to the commander's quarters, as though seeing the man in person would dispel any niggling doubts that his erstwhile teammates had implanted. As soon as he entered, though, he found himself face-to-face with the red-headed Earth Alliance girl that the commander had brought back with him from the base. 

He scowled at her. She squeaked, and backed up against the wall like a frightened mouse.

"Come, now," the smooth voice of Commander Le Creuset brought instant relief to her face - and nausea to Yzak's stomach as she gazed at him in wide-eyed expectation of salvation. "I promised you that no one would hurt you while you were with me, didn't I?"

She nodded timidly, and scurried behind his seat. Yzak eyed her in disgust. At least Athrun and Dearka had retained their dignity if not their brains after being captured. This girl seemingly lacked both.

"I'm glad to see you're safe, Yzak," said the commander, recapturing his wandering gaze.

"Sir!" he saluted, drawing himself up to attention. "Thank you, sir!"

"The destruction of JOSH-A was a shocking blow to us," the man continued. "We simply had no idea that the Earth Alliance were capable of such an act. Yet I hear that you are responsible for a warning that saved the lives of a number of our pilots. It is, of course, a most admirable achievement; but I am curious as to how you came by this knowledge."

Yzak blinked, the news of Athrun and Dearka's presence aboard the legged ship and their revelation on the tip of his tongue. Yet when he opened his mouth to answer, he found himself lying through his teeth.

"I overheard a transmission between the Earth forces vessels," he reported as crisply as though every word was nothing but the purest truth. "The legged ship was informing the others about the Cyclops System. I determined the information to have a high probability of veracity, and acted accordingly. Sir."

"Without informing your superiors?"

"The communication suggested that the destruction of the Alaska base was imminent, sir. There was insufficient time to report the matter without needlessly risking the lives of our soldiers."

"I see." Le Creuset tapped one finger thoughtfully against his cheek. "License to make such a decision does not lie within your current authority."

"No, sir." Yzak swore to himself that if he ended up being reprimanded for his actions, he'd damn well find a way to make Athrun suffer, too - even if he had to go and drag him off the legged ship himself.

"Under the circumstances," the commander continued after a few moments of deliberation, "I can only commend you for your quick thinking. Well done, Yzak. I will see to it that you are appropriately rewarded."

"Thank you, sir!"

"Dismissed."

He spun on his heels, his mood lighter than it was when he had arrived. Simply being in the commander's presence was reassuring, yet doubt still plagued his mind. He paused for a moment on the threshold, wondering what the commander's response might have been to the truth.

"Was there something else, Yzak?"

Blue eyes contemplated the scene before him: the commander calmly seated at his terminal, the Earth forces girl cowering behind him. What possible reason could the commander have for bringing her on board? Why had he been in the base in the first place? Had he truly known about the Cyclops System?

"No, sir," he answered, and departed.

* * *

"You know, we really should have a guard posted down in the brig round the clock," Mu La Flaga advised his captain. "If they got out once, there's really nothing stopping them from doing it again." 

"You're right, of course, but..." Murrue Ramius sighed.

They'd been sitting here in her office for the better part of an hour, discussing their options. With the almost inevitable charge of desertion awaiting them in Panama, return to the Earth Alliance would be literal suicide. The best scenario they could achieve would be if a neutral nation accepted their request for asylum - and that in itself was fraught with dangers, both for themselves and any possible host. Then there was still the problem of the prisoners to consider.

"Yeah, I know." Mu shook his head in mild disbelief. "That Zala kid."

Murrue stared down into her mug. The coffee was getting cold. She tilted it idly in her hands, watching the dark liquid swirl around within its confines.

"It's easy to see why he and Kira were friends."

"That didn't stop them out on the battlefield," Mu was swift to point out.

"But it made it so much harder, for them both. So young, all of them." She couldn't help but recall Athrun crying out that the Blitz's pilot had been barely fifteen. She had been aware that the Earth Forces had been drawing ever younger people in to enlist, but they still adhered to standard policy regarding age limits. At least, she amended regretfully, considering their own horrendous plight and associated consequences, they did so under ordinary conditions. For the Blitz to have such a youthful pilot, it seemed that the ZAFT forces were deliberately training mere children to their cause. Athrun couldn't be much older himself, to be such a close friend of Kira's...

"Not too young to die," Mu responded cynically. "Don't forget he's a regular ZAFT soldier. Unlike Kira, he made the choice to join this war of his own free will."

"Can you be so sure?" She frowned at the coffee dregs. "With a father like Patrick Zala..."

Mu shrugged. "Who knows? But it doesn't change the position we're in right now: We are AWOL, with high profile POWs on board. _No one_ in their right minds is going to want us anywhere near them in this situation."

"So what are you suggesting? We can't just leave them in the middle of nowhere, anymore than we could take them with us! That only leaves..." She raised her head to meet his steady gaze. "Letting them go."

"Yeah, well, that's not such a brilliant idea either, considering that they know too much, now."

"They were only on the bridge for a few minutes - "

"And the hanger, and sick bay, and wherever else they fancied in between."

She sighed.

"Also, if Le Creuset discovers that we sent them off with a merry wave, he'll be even more suspicious than he'll already be as soon as he discovers that they were here at all."

Murrue blinked, and raised her eyebrows at him.

"Hey," Mu protested, "I'm just saying that they know too much for us to really let them go without knowing what _they're_ going to do next."

Narrowing her gaze, Murrue stared at him pointedly. "So, what do you think they're going to do if they get of this ship?"

He grinned disarmingly at her. "I'm so glad you asked."

Later that day, a duty roster was drawn up so that there was a guard posted down in the brig around the clock. Miriallia Haw was one of those assigned to guard duty. Neither the Captain nor the Commander were particularly surprised when a few days later the alarms sounded, and Murdoch reported the Skygrasper being stolen.

They were, however, rather surprised by the ZAFT pilot who had remained behind.

* * *

Tugging her cap down a little further, Cagalli Yula Atha waited with increasing frustration for the security detail to move on past the shop she was currently hiding in. She knew Kisaka was bound to find her sooner or later, but she was fully intent on making it as much later as possible. 

Her return to Orb had been accompanied by further restrictions on her movements that drove her up the wall. It was almost impossible to breathe, cooped up within the confines of the government buildings where she was expected to behave like a good little princess. She'd told them repeatedly where they could stick that idea.

_"It's not safe, Miss Cagalli! With the current situation with ZAFT and the Earth Alliance we cannot be too careful!"_

She'd heard it all a thousand times, but that didn't matter to her. What mattered was that she knew she could be making a difference somewhere, if only they would let her take action rather than tying her hands with diplomatic phrases.

Breathing a sigh as the security forces finally moved on, she counted to fifty before slipping back out into the crowds of people on the street. Looking around as she walked, she watched the faces of the citizens of Orb as she moved among them. They were happy and carefree for the most part - certainly not the pinched and frightened demeanours of the freedom fighters and their people. She could only hope that she would never see such expressions on her own people's faces.

Shaking her head slightly, as though to rid herself of that depressing thought, she almost missed the flash of green that flew through her peripheral vision.

"Hey!" she called out reflexively. "Hold up!"

She dashed after the pale green bird, hardly daring to hope that it truly was -

It alighted on the top of a brick wall, turning its head towards her curiously.

"Birdy?" it chirped its familiar greeting.

"Oh," she gasped, her heart pounding. Surely if Birdy was here, then Kira -

Birdy fluttered down from the wall, landing somewhere on the other side.

"Wait!" Cagalli shouted, launching herself up and over the wall with strength born of desperation. She landed with a grunt on the other side. It took a moment or two for her to realise that she had not in fact come to rest upon the ground - at least, not directly. Scrambling to a sitting position, she froze as she found herself straddling a very familiar boy.

"Cagalli?" Green eyes blinked up at her incredulously. "What are you - ?"

"You!" she interrupted, shouting in surprise. "Where's Kira? Where is he? Where -"

She broke of as the shock in his eyes faded to grief.

"No," she denied, shaking her head furiously. "It can't be true. It just can't be!" She clutched at his collar. "I didn't believe it when we combed through that wreckage, and I won't believe it now!"

"It's true," he informed her with the ache of unrelenting truth in his voice.

Her fists hit the ground beside his head, her jaw locked tight against the onset of tears - but the tears came, regardless. Several long minutes passed before she felt she could control her voice long enough to ask the inevitable.

"Tell me," she ordered, glaring down into his grieving eyes, her own now thoroughly bloodshot. "Tell me what happened to Kira."

June '06

* * *


End file.
